Masturbation needs to be reimagined. We’ve gotten stale. We’ve gotten lazy. We’re gotten boring. Who said the only way to “spice things up” was to be kinky, wear a blindfold, do deep breathing exercises till we pass out? Who said it had to be difficult? Level up your masturbation game. Isolation has made us all readjust how we receive intimacy and pleasure, but it doesn’t have to be stale.
I’m not just talking about toys. This is more than busting out your favorite vibrator from its case within your bedside table. The toy engages you physically, yes. But what about your mental? I created Velvet Tip Studios to help ignite individuals (or couples) imaginations. Audio erotica helps us safely navigate new surroundings, fantasies, encounters without ever leaving the comfort of our own homes. The added security of being in your bed mixed with the danger of a new experience where you don’t know what will happen next. With just enough details to help your mind and body paint the story, yet with enough gaps of information to let you color between the lines.
How can a simple guided instruction or fantasy enactment level up your masturbation game? If you ever have trouble getting out of your head or focusing on the sensation of your body, a guiding voice grounds you to the task at hand. Instead of using your toy, in the same way, every time, worried about how long you're taking or being orgasm oriented, deliberate instruction can introduce you to new pathways to pleasure.
So….how to figure out where to start when it comes to exploring masturbation with a partner, whether they are physically there or not…
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What makes you feel safe?
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establishing a connection? intimacy? Meditation? A ritual? A soft fuzzy blanket?
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How do you want to feel?
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Empowered? Desired? Cared for? Ravaged? Desperate?
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What motivates you?
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Validation? Reward? Autonomy? Pleasure? Attention?
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What do you want to be called?
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Boy/Girl, sweetie, darling, slut, baby etc….
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What do you want your bits to be called?
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Cock, pussy, cunt, meat sword, box etc….
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What is your desired outcome?
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To orgasm? To feel wanted? Desperation? To feel like you did a good job? Discover a new fantasy or pleasure?
This questionnaire gives much richer insights than a list of desires acts and boundaries. In a medium that relies so heavily on language, calling someone a name that turns them off can derail the experience altogether. The answers to these questions gives you a map not only for the other person but for yourself.
There is no specific hierarchy toy vs hand, porn vs imagination, or solo vs partnered. Each gives opportunity in its own way - we should be exploring each of them, all of them. Routine is the enemy of progress and we all deserve pleasure progression. We will never know every single thing that our body enjoys or what turns us on. Our bodies continue to change and our desires continue to form and compound. Take this as an opportunity to be a constant explorer, gathering information and data on your body’s reactions. How’s that for market research?
Written by Lola Jean, creator of Velvet Tip Studios. This article originally appeared on MasturbationMonth.com
