How Emojibator is destigmatizing female masturbation using humor and sex positivity
Brittany Burr, Psych N Sex
This interview originally appeared on Psych N Sex
Emojibator is, well, exactly what it sounds like: vibrators designed after emojis. Now, you may be picturing exactly what we were when we first head “vibrators shaped like emojis,” which was large yellow faces meant to be used as sex toys. Thankfully, this is far from the case. Emojibator has fully embraced pop-culture and texting trends by utilizing the emojis which have come to be commonly associated with sex and sexting: the eggplant, the chili pepper, and the banana. We know, it’s pretty awesome.
We were lucky enough to make the acquaintance of Kris Fretz, CMO & Founder of Emojibator, and learn more about her and Emojibator: aka our new favorite vibe. As is the case with many business ideas, the brainchild we now call Emojibator was born not entirely on purpose. It all began with the idea of an eggplant emoji vibrator and a clear vision for how and why that should exist in the world. “We said if no one else has done it, we absolutely need to do it. And our giggling turned into a loving and badass global community!” Fretz told us. Their tagline “Go fuck yourself. Literally.” then emerged to go along with their mission which is “to change the shameful taboo around female masturbation using humor and sex positivity. We want to help people laugh more about sex and talk about it more easily with friends and strangers alike!”
The emergence of Emojibator is a fantastic opportunity for us, and everyone, to reflect upon the ways in which we engage with sexuality and masturbation socially, psychologically, culturally, personally, and physically as well. Because of the shame and stigmatization that is often afloat surrounding these topics, we tend to take them quite seriously and have trouble finding a space to exist within them.
The Age Old Masturbation Taboo
Curiosity is an innate quality of human beings, this we can all attest to. Therefore, as we grow up and our bodies begin to change, there’s no doubt that we are going to do our fair share of exploring. We don’t know about you, but we think it might be safe to say that we were all little, curious, weird, perverts growing up and that’s totally okay! We had questions, so often we took it upon ourselves to answer them through exploration, experimentation, and (unfortunately) the internet. Long story short, many individuals start masturbating in some form relatively young. In fact, a study conducted by the University of Michigan Faculty of Medicine found that
“Most children—both boys and girls—play with their genitals (external sex organs or “private parts”) fairly regularly by the age of 5-6 years. By age 15, almost 100% of boys and 25% of girls have masturbated to the point of orgasm.”
We’re certainly doing it, so why the heck is it still so taboo? Perhaps we’ve internalized the notion that sex is for procreation not pleasure? Perhaps we’re shameful about our indulgences? Regardless, the shame needs to end, because masturbation leads to learning about our sexual selves and it feels good… so, there.
Creating products as Kris Fretz has done with Emojibator is key as it not only shows that masturbation is a positive thing at that, should we be interested, we can invest in products to enhance our experience. We wanted to get an idea of Kris’ thoughts on the taboos and stigmas surrounding masturbation and what we can do to end them. Check it out:
Psych N Sex: How do you feel we can work together as a society to destigmatize masturbation, particularly female masturbation?
Kris Fretz: WE MUST TALK. Out loud, online, in media and entertainment, and in schools. Until society embraces females getting horny and having sexual desires, the stigma will stay. I am constantly inspired and encouraged when strangers see our products for the first time, and they laugh! They genuinely smile and start saying why it’s so perfect for their friend, or for their girlfriend who has always wanted one but never tried. We are breaking down barriers with emojis and humor. It’s a beautiful role to play in the evolution of the sex industry.
P: How do you feel we can start open conversations about sex and masturbation and foster safe spaces to discuss such things?
K: It needs to start in schools. Teachers have to tell high school women what is actually going on inside their bodies. If I knew orgasms decreased stress and improved my sleep, I would have explored masturbation years ago…imagine the happiness I could have found within myself instead of thinking I needed a boy to bring me pleasure. Women don’t need anyone but themselves. I hope we can help change that for the next generation.
We Need to Chill | Taking Sex Too Seriously
We’re just going to come out and say it: sex can be awkward, it can be clunky, it does not always flow smoothly, weird things happen, strange things are said, strange sounds can occur, falls happen (the infamous naked fall, been there *facepalm*), and anything you could ever imagine going wrong probably will go wrong at some point. The same is to be said for masturbation, except there’s a little less room for disaster because there are fewer people involved. So, if we are learning what we know about sex from movies, porn, friends (who likely haven’t had sex, either), and adults who are telling us it’s beautiful, special, sacred, or anything of the sort, we may be expecting something a little different than the reality. Apart from positive sexual and mental health practices surrounding our sexuality, it is a great exercise to chill out about and let things flow. Have a sense of humor about your sex life, be yourself, and HAVE FUN. Here’s what Kris Fretz has to say about taking ourselves a little too seriously in the bedroom:
P: Why do you feel it’s important not to take sex too seriously?
K: It’s important to not take sex too seriously once you understand how to take care of your body before, during, and after sex. Once we’re educated, there is nothing to be afraid or ashamed of regarding sex. Every human being has what it takes to orgasm. To masturbate. To please someone and to receive pleasure in return. The fact that our society shamed women into exploring their sexuality is dangerous for a woman’s self-concept. For example, because I didn’t get the “sex” talk until I was driving to college, I didn’t use my first vibrator at 19 (and had been sexually active already…) – THAT IS WRONG. I had no idea the power I had within myself to find pleasure and peace inside of me. Instead, I was taught pleasure came from someone else, and sex is a bad, bad thing unless you are in a serious relationship. And don’t get pregnant. Of course, I didn’t want to have a child when I still was one. But to not know that orgasms are normal and healthy is a failure of our education system and societal values.
P: How do you think we can strive to have fun with our sex lives and take our sexual selves less seriously?
K: My favorite Emojibator gift buying scenario is the Gen-X mom buying her 18-year-old her first vibrator. They are so open-minded to the notion of addressing female sexuality and masturbation head on, instead of ignoring it from embarrassment. These moms know they want their daughter to be safe and confident about their bodies. Teaching them to take orgasms into their own hands can do WONDERS for women’s self-concept in the bedroom. Imagine if we talked about orgasms and sex more casually, would these many men in powerful positions still be harassing women in the workplace or college dorm rooms? Would it have taken us until 2017 to exercise a zero-tolerance policy for sexual assault? The possibilities are endless for what happens if we talk about sex more in a fun and explorative way. Honestly, could she be any cooler?
Emojibator & The Public
We chatted a little more with Kris about her company, their foundations, and how it is being received by the public, read more of the interview below:
P: What do you feel are the benefits of embodying pop-culture and internet culture in one’s business ventures?
K: The obvious perk, which propelled Emojibator into the global consciousness, is the virality potential of pop-culture and Internet culture businesses. The lessons from Contagious inspired our business model, as we needed to package and present the Eggplant Emojibator in a compelling enough way that people couldn’t wait to tag their friends on Facebook or buy one as a gift. And it worked – our humorous product photos and easy to use website, plus the 100+ articles written about us after Cosmopolitan launched our story, made our adorable eggplant a worldwide internet sensation.
P: How do you feel Emojibator is being received by the general public?
K: Emojibator is being received as a disruptive idea that people laugh about when they hear or see it, and love it so much they tell their friends and colleagues about us. It’s an amazing position to be in, where the value of your product is best conveyed in genuine stories of high interest. People love to brag about amazing things they learn about from brands. It has been an incredible journey thus far!
P: How do you feel Emojibator is different from what’s already out there, and why do you think these differences are important?
K: Emojibator is different because we’re using humor to sell sex toys instead of veiny Penises and barely dressed women. The sex industry does not have to just be about porn, and we are proving there’s a market for people who are more comfortable masturbating and using sex toys with partners that look and feel familiar to them. That’s why we chose fruits like the eggplant, chili pepper, and banana to be the leaders of our fruity sexual revolution 🙂
P: Are there any roadblocks you’ve endured along the way?
K: Absolutely! SINCE THE FIRST DAY! Our biggest nemesis is Facebook’s advertising policies prohibiting anything to do with sex toys. Also, PayPal declines to take our in-person credit card transactions. It’s incredible how many of the leading Internet 2.0 companies refuse to acknowledge human nature’s interest in sex.
P: Which emoji seems to be the most popular with your clients?
K: The eggplant’s infamous nature makes it a favorite for customers online. However, when we sell at markets in person, the chili pepper and banana are top sellers. Everyone’s body’s and desires are different, so the variety of our vibrators works well for our audience.
The Future of Emojibator
P: Do you have any plans to launch any more emoji vibrators?
K: We are always looking for the next best emoji sex toy to make! Now that we have vibrators for women, it may be time to answer our high demand for male-oriented emoji sex toys.
P: What can we expect from Emojibator in the future?
K: Expect nothing. Then we’ll blow your mind with every next thing we do 😉 we have new business model ideas to take our cheeky humor brand to the next level. We are keen on continuing to disrupt untapped markets, so stay tuned for our journey’s next turn!
A Closing Message From Kris and Emojibator
P: Is there anything you’d like our readers to know about you/your company?
K: Our story of side hustle and grit to turn an idea into reality is a unique entrepreneurial journey you can’t prepare for. It’s a whirlwind, it’s exhausting, and it’s not for everyone who likes making money. We are constantly pushing ourselves and then stepping back to reflect on what’s working and how can we improve. This business has made me more self-aware than I could imagine being going into my 25th birthday next week. I’m blessed for this opportunity to grow and learn from taking risks. Once you stop caring about being judged by others, you find the people still by your side truly accept you for who you are. For me, that’s the woman who’s always doing something to make a difference bigger than herself.
P: What would you say to someone who’s interested in buying one but afraid?
K: I would say being afraid is the perfect reason to try it once. If you come from an orgasm, awesome! If not, maybe your fingers are better? And if you hate it, wash your Emojibator and turn it into a decorative living room piece. Your friends will never know the difference…
We truly can’t tell you how fired up we are about this company and what they’re all about! A world where Emojibator exists is a world that we WISH we grew up in.
