Good relationships aren't built overnight. It takes years of practice with countless missteps along the way. For couples in their 40s and beyond, the challenge becomes even more elaborate with family pressure, finance hiccups, and other daily stresses. Sadly, the longer you stay together, the more likely you are to take your partner for granted. Things you used to do to maintain the flame suddenly become harder to sustain.
The good thing about it is regardless of how old you are; there’s always a chance to make things right. And especially as you approach your ruby jubilee, you can never run out of ideas to spice up your relationship. With the help of relationship experts, we’ve compiled a short to-do list to spice up your relationship in your 40s and beyond:
1. Be Vulnerable and Practice Forgiveness
Regardless of how long you’ve been together, truly expressing yourself to your partner isn’t the easiest thing to do. And while young couples usually find it hard to be vulnerable, partners become more comfortable in front of each other over time. Maintaining a healthy relationship means allowing yourself to be vulnerable, understanding, and honest with each other. So, make sure that you collectively identify and bridge any existing communication gaps.
On the other hand, practicing forgiveness allows both partners to be true to themselves instead of putting an act. Everyone has their shortcomings, and forgiveness is the ideal way to move on. Avoid dwelling on the past.
2. Give Without Expecting Favors in Return
Early on in the relationship, partners can get caught up in the ‘you scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours’ hiatus, an unhealthy tendency of helping the other person on condition that they help you in return.
Giving without expecting something in return saves you from the disappointment that’s fueled by your expectations. Focus on what you can do to improve the relationship without expecting your partner to match your effort. We’re all different, especially in a relationship, and we don’t have to be in sync at all times.
3. Be Mindful of Each Other and Honest with Each Other
There’s a huge difference between cohabiting and being together. Whenever you’re with your partner in the same room, try being more emotionally than physically present. Pay attention to your partner and let them feel and know that you value spending the time together. Being mindful of each other strengthens the bond that comes with love while fostering the feeling of belonging.
Likewise, practice honesty with each other and never say you’re fine when you’re not. If you have something clouding your judgment, let it out and sort things out. Harboring disappointments only serve to create bigger problems. So, be open with each other and commit to always approach problems together in a respectful manner.
4. Spend More Time Together
As stressed before, couples will either grow closer together or further apart with time. One of the best ways to spice your relationship after 40 years is to find activities to do together. Whether it’s committing to a weekly date night, taking a class together, or working out as a unit, the options are endless.
Spending more time together provides an avenue to talk about your relationship and the future. It also creates neutral pathways full of excitement and joy, successfully compounding positive energy.
5. Add a Few Sex Toys in the Mix
Who said you’re too old for sex toys? Ever heard of the saying that life starts at 40? Well, I have, and it’s true. It’s at 40 years that you most likely have learned everything about sex, including the do’s and the don’ts. You also know your partner’s sweet spots perfectly and understand how to get them off.
Depending on what works for you, go for lightweight and flexible sex toys. If it’s your first time using sex toys, go for the beginner’s options and work your way up the ladder. However, if you’ve been using sex toys before, test your limits with the very best on the market. Get your man a realistic masturbator and treat her to a jaw-dropping foreplay session. You can even find very realistic-looking dildos without breaking the bank.
To sum it up, spicing your relationship is a never-ending affair that calls for collective commitment from both partners. Treat your partner with the same respect and care that you put into your closest friendships. Furthermore, your partner should be your best friend first. Right?
So, be vulnerable, practice forgiveness, give without expecting something in return, be mindful and honest with each other, spend more time together, and most importantly, slide in a few sex toys into the party.
Enjoy your 40s and beyond.